Wednesday, October 16, 2013

A Desert Night in Anza Borrego.

I was up at 7:30am on a Saturday morning in the northern skirts of Phoenix, AZ.  The night before, I had pre-packed the contents of a sleeping bag, the bare bones of a tent, my guitar, and some long johns, just in case it got cold.  I creatively bungee corded my things to my motorcycle handlebars, then most wisely sandwiching my sissy bar between a satchel and a guitar, in the best fashion that I had engineered by this point in all my years of packing experience.
        The mornings in Arizona were cooler by now, and being as I was having a hard time acclimating to the fall temperatures, I rode off shortly after 8am, dawning a thick red and black striped hoodie under a worn out hand-me-down denim wrangler jacket.  Wearing my clear glasses, I had no need for my shades yet, seeing as it was early enough that the sun was still behind me as I headed west, away from its awakening.
       30, 40, 50 miles down the road, I could still feel the bite of the air on my exposed wrists, and face around where the wind always whips to the sides of my glasses and around my eyes.  I was wishing for those unbearably hot summer days again, knowing that winter is coming faster than I ever expect, always cursing the downtime.  I pulled over for gas, a coffee, and something easily digestible, which is the most important thing I've discovered on long bike trips.  Nothing worse than my guts aching and wrenching for hours and days even, trying to digest something heavy.  30 minutes and a call home, and I was back on the road, pleased that the morning was so young, and I had all day to enjoy the ride, and meet up with the group in what would seem like merely a few short hours.
      10 minutes into my western progress, and my front end suddenly started to bob voraciously.  Now at first I thought it was the bad roads that I'm accustomed to in Arizona.  But when I looked to inspect the front end of my motorcycle, there to my dismay was a walloping front tire under the weight and velocity of 80 miles per hour, wondering, I'm sure to itself, if it could take a siesta.  Well, I wasn't about to let it crap out on me just yet.  I muttered a series of creative and amusing phrases as I took her easily and progressively from 80 to 70mph, from 70 to 60, and then I saw that a rest stop was only 1 mile further down the road.  I tried to ride that thing walloping as it was, at about 50 mph then 40, not once hitting the brakes.  Then half a mile away, then 1/4 mile, and then there it was, the exit,  I was so close.  I was rolling at about 30 and then 20 by this time when I accidently tapped the front brake, trying to carefully navigate her into the off ramp of the rest stop.
        "Kablam!"  she went immediately hard flat.  No more walloping for her, she was full metal skating on a sheet of slippery-unpredictable rubber between pavement and a Semi truck was gaining on my rear.  Well, as soon as she went full flat, she refused to cooperate, and tried to guide me completely into the middle of the highway, like she was trying to buck me left and right, and I remembered the days of my youth when I'd wanted to ride bulls.  I reacted immediately by putting my left foot down to act as a training wheel, for my crazy ol' bucking bronco that was trying to die in the middle of 80mph commuter interstate 10.  Well, I used all my muscle (which ain't much) and I forced that wheel to turn sharp right while yellin "I ain't dumping this thing!"  Boy was she trying my riding skills for all they were worth.  Then after that hard right I muscled out of her, she shot full across the exit lane into the curb on the shoulder.  I was so friggin thankful that nobody was exiting cause otherwise they would have creamed my right side.  hahaha.
       So, there I was aiming into a curb on the shoulder of the exit.  All thousand pounds it seemed I had packed, and a very impossible front tire to steer, were making it extremely difficult to get off that curb.  Well, never fear the amount of muscling I can make up in an emergency, and what a lot of sweat, determination, and a little throttle would do.  I finally made that warbling thing into the safety of a parking spot right in front of a shaded picnic bench.  I unbungeed my guitar, and got comfy.
       The next 3 morning hours were a combination of me figuring out which road-side assistance options I had to use.  I called AAA, I called my roommate to drive my truck with a rented trailer to come get me, I even asked a passing motorist with a trailer if they'd haul me to the next town.  Nobody on this day could change my tire for me.  Not one tire shop in any of the westerly towns, or the nearest ones I'd passed.  The only place that would change my tire that day was the Harley shop back in Phoenix, 70 miles away.  Well, at this point I had to get something done and stat, so I didn't really care where it happened, it just had to happen.  I was bound and determined to make the campout.
      Thank my lucky stars, my Insurance company gave me a free tow back to the Harley Shop, and those folks put me in the emergency lane cause they knew I was on a trip.  An hour later I was tire changed, coffee'd up, with my gear loaded back on my bike, and the old tire now lasso'd to my rig as a trophy of sorts.
    3:30pm, sunglasses on at this point, I was back on the road, except slowly navigating afternoon Phoenix traffic trying to get back onto the highway.  I plugged on carefully, trying to pay respects to the new-tire break-in period.  So that was a little slow going at first, but hours later I eventually got to my turn-off to 86 south to the Salton Sea.
     This is where it gets fun.  The directions I had been given were possibly read two ways.  So naturally I investigated my options via modern technological maps according to the clues.  "10 to the 86 towards Salton Sea. Take a right at am/pm."  Ok, let's analyze this one:  according to my map, there is an 86 business route, and an 86 main south.  Naturally, I then looked to see where the "am/pm's" were along either routes.  There was only one am/pm that I could tentatively make a right at along the business route.  Nothing else showed up, that could have worked according to the clue.  Which brings me to my next text clue: "Keep an eye out for RockHouse and take a right."  This one was fun.  It was dark, I was looking for literally a "rock  house" and I had a very dim front light.  Also, the roads were wide and I couldn't tell what I was passing.  I rode until I ran into Palm Springs, at which that point I knew I was not on the right track.
     I pulled over in front of a fancy gated community with a guard shack, being suspiciously eyed by the guard.  I did some more investigating.  Instagram!  I bet someone tagged the location of a recent photo.  Yep! holy shit! there was a friggin pot of gold right on my phone.  I looked up the tag, then I checked for any gas stations in the area....and there was nothing popping up.  So I said, well, I bet it just isn't tagged yet.  I had to just shoot for that territory, and cross my fingers.  I raced maniacally around cars, splitting lanes, running missed stop signs, yelling at red lights, speeding down the highway with speeding cars, looking for any signs of a gas station on the black night horizon.
      Then there....I think....yes?....no....maybe?....please?.....yes!  An Am/Pm gas station on the right corner of the very road I had to take to get out to the party.  I shouted for joy!  I filled up my tank.  I bought a 12 pack of cheap beer and found a way to load it to the top of my gear (you will always find a way to load beer to your gear).
      I was brimming with excitement, aiming my dim headlight along that windy empty two-lane desert landscape, palms sweaty, mouth dry, stomach empty with an appetite for whiskey and beer. The next clue I kept repeating to myself "you'll be about 20 minutes from that point."  I rode fast, faster than what I felt 20 minutes would have gotten me to, and which I decided that the "rockhouse" clue, was a right turn I was to keep an eye out for.  At one point I doubted my direction and pulled a U-turn, but then immediately convinced myself that I should have just kept heading in that other direction, and I pulled another U-turn.  So really it was just a 360.  My rear tire kicking out a little bit on a patch of sandy road-side shoulder as I sped off.  hahahaha  Enlightenment.
      I started noticing that the off-shoot dirt washes had names.  So between my dim light and high speeds I was keeping my fingers crossed that "Rock House" would just jump out at me.  I was getting pretty far into this trek, as I noticed some distant domestic electricity in the far off hills.  And the roads became more elongated between curves.  Then, I swear, It jumped right out and grabbed me...."Rock House."  I slowed and made that right onto a paved road.  That paved road turned into dirt 1/4 mile in.
     The next clue:  "You'll see a trailer."  Here I was using my best ability for my eyes to take in any reflection or glint of campfire or life out in that massive flat black abyss.  I rode down the road looking left and right hoping to catch something.
     I saw a distant fire off to my right.  I paused to let my eyes gauge its location. It was a ways in there, but I had to check it out.  I couldn't make out any real roads to get to it, so I crossed through wild sands and dodged untamed bush clusters, as I bobbed and weaved over the desert floor towards the flames.
    It turned out to be three fellas, college age, I approximately type-cast them as rock climbing micro-brew aficionados.   I rolled up about 15 feet from their fire.  I said "Hey guys, sorry to bother you, but have you seen any motorcyclists around here?"  And oh, so helpfully they all responded excitedly, "Yes!  A bunch of bikers rolled down the road."  Arms all pointing in the deepest direction of the canyon.  I said "Thanks a bunch.  Have a good night."  And I bobbed and weaved the wild terrain back toward the main dirt road.  I followed that sandy dirt road briskly, and as safely as I could for as much of a hurry as I was in.
      I rode and I rode that wash-boardy dirt road.  Deeper into that canyon,  a second glimmer of flames! It got bigger and more descriptive the closer I rode.  Then, in the flicker of the campfire glow, I caught the outline of the top of what was possibly a trailer.   Then I caught the shape of what was possibly a large tent awning thing.  And then I came upon a sandy right hook that would lead me toward these desert features.  I took that right lip fairly fast, and promptly moved to steady myself and motorcycle in the deepening sand, as my wheels tried terribly to gain any foothold they could.  With the heaviness of my upper bike, loaded up as it was, and the sinking and leaning of my bike, it went over gracefully and slowly.  I said "Aww, man, there it is," and I laughed it off.
      At this point anxiousness and deliriousness were all apart of the package.  A wave of adrenaline pumped through me as I leaned into my bike, pulling on the handlebars and sissybar, coaxing my horse into an upright position.  Stabilized, I rolled a leg over the seat, and started my bike.  I slowly crawled her out of that deep sand, and approached the camp.  And as soon as I could visibly make out the silhouettes of many wild women around that fire, I began honking my horn and shouting excitedly.  I rolled right on up to that campfire, parked my bike along the row of a glorious 50 or more bikes.  And no sooner than my wheels stopped rolling,  I was greeted by some of the gals who were in awe that I even found the camp-out that late at night.  I guess I myself was in a bit of awe too, because it was totally worth every bit of time and effort, wrong turn and adventure, that I put into the trip, and got out of it.
      So, a 14 hour journey later, and I joined all those wonderful women bikers around the fire, with my cold 12 pack of beer, and a large handle of whiskey.  I was fed a large plate of delicious food.  I shared my day's travel adventure of perseverance with eager listeners.  I met some amazing women bikers, and got to hear about their own adventures.  Not long after a bit of socializing, I grabbed my guitar and my sleeping bag off the bike, and I played my homemade tunes, and shared that fire until I was good and drunk.  Then, I fell asleep smiling, in in the wake of its playful light.


early morning cruising, 80 mph, leaned back, excited.....
10 minutes later came the blowout.


Horse rolled safely and alive into a corral stall.


yum.


1:30pm. Thank you insurance for the free lift.

(time warp: motorcycle at Harley shop, tire getting changed.  
Ok, now back on the road...)


approximately 4pm at this marker. Old tire = new passenger.


Campfire!


First live scorpion I'd seen since I was a kid.  And that's a good thing.
Especially when you're sleeping on the ground in the desert.

Behold the gloriousness and magnitude of the gathering of Babes In Borrego.


some of the bikes to my right, early the next morning.


My lil bucking bronco, all saddled up and happy.



Riding out!  
My hangover said: "Thank my lucky stars for paved roads."  
That washboard ride out, was giving all previous hangovers a good run for their money.


Taken on a hillside perch along the route from Borrego Springs to Julian.



Julian, CA, for breakfast.  The wild bunch.


One last meet-up after the fun descent from Julian.



Pulled over on the roadside as soon as my odometer turned 60,000 miles young.


Turned down a road that said "free dry camping" and came upon this.


Happy.



I'd like to give a special thanks to Cassandra (aka. @dustdiablo) for being the one who told me about the Babes In Borrego camp out, and kept me informed.  Cheers girl!  
And to the hosts of the party:  Thanks!  I can't wait for next year, or any other rides that get planned from here on out, where we can all re-unite on our bikes!
And to the rad chick who let me use her Beltran trickle charger the next morning when my bike was dead. 

Wednesday, October 9, 2013

Jeans!

I just finished making these.  I'll wear the living hell out of this pair too.
Right before I went to bed at 3:30 am.  I made up this pattern.
And when I woke up at 11:30 the next day, I cut it out and started piecing it together.


buttons and whiskey


Later that night, I had this all done.


Added sweet interior feature, of comfort and class.

Sunday, September 29, 2013

Biker movie review. "Chrome and Hot Leather"

Just went for a little night dirt road exploration and came home to sip whiskey, and settle down to an old biker flick.
So I found this one titled "Chrome and Hot Leather" about a veteran whose lady gets killed by a wild biker, but there are good bikers in the gang too, and they rival it out between themselves.  This is a fun cult biker movie, with great bike chases and riding scenes.  It's got all the fixin's of hot bikers and hot biker mamas, and partying and revenge.  Anyway, the plot is fun, and the story development is really neat.



You know what, I'm not much into giving the movie plot or scenes away, like typical reviews do.  So I'm just gonna say, go watch it, and enjoy.

Thursday, September 19, 2013

Helmet blunders.

So, I live in Arizona for the time being, but the other day I was riding in California.  I pulled over to fill up gas, took my helmet off, dangled it atop my sissy bar, and walked into the shop to get a bite.  When I got back on my bike to take off, I started her up and pulled up to the street.  I looked both ways before safely pulling onto the street.  There I was looking at the onramp to the highway, and I was like, wait.....something doesn't feel right.  Sure enough, I pulled over and there was my helmet still just carrying on atop my sissy bar, like a passenger with a helmet on.  hahahahahahaha.  The shit that happens when you get customary with a state that has no helmet law.  Oh, and in other related news, don't get caught with ammunition in your pockets on a plane, more of my first world problems, getting customary with a state that has no gun laws.

Oh, Arizona.  hahahahahaha

Monday, September 16, 2013

Freedom

Never trade the freedom of your two-wheeler, for the safety of a cage.

Tuesday, September 3, 2013

Through Thunder and Lightning

       I was riding sleeveless along the hot boarder of the valley, gunning it for the hills toward Payson, AZ, where I knew I'd be much cooler.  My forehead was becoming chapped by the sun and wind burn.  I was anxious for those hills.  
      Now, according to my weather forecast, Payson and further mountain destinations, were calling for partly cloudy and warm 80's.  I dressed accordingly.  So you would understand my surprise when 1 hour into my trip, I was gazing wide eyed, and untrustingly at a gigantic mountain with an even more gigantic storm problem looming along it's highest ranges.
     Covered with dark clouds, that were raining lightning bolts, I was like, "oh, hell, is that the range I'm headed over right now?"  Bravely, I kept riding to see.  I actually felt as if nothing but an actual lightning bolt was going to put a stop to my adventure today.  I made up a quick little song in my head, and sang it as I threaded through those mountains; the storm dumping to the left and right. 

Now, the 86 into Payson is a fun little ride: fun and beautiful.  Wonderfully maintained roads smoothly and tightly wind in and out of the low desert terrain.  First among the fields of Saguaro cactus, then a little further into the hills you have green shrubbery and rocky mountain typography, with an average of 15 degrees cooler.  By the time you reach Payson, you have full on shrub pines, and trees, and actual forest, which is a sweet escape from the dry dirt and rock yard landscapes of the valley.  And all this within only a 70 mile span.  

So, there I was; high and dry in Payson.  I motored steadily through town.  Looking on at the never-ending line of cars, trucks, and motor homes coming down from the mountains after a Labor Day long weekend of camping and boating adventures.  I filled up at the last station in town.  Luckily, I was headed north, and away from the senseless traffic.  At the cities border the 87 turned from 4 lanes into 2.  The weather was warm and lovely.  The darker clouds were behind me, and I could see there were clearer skies ahead, so I just knew I had to keep my forward momentum, in case this storm was going to keep progressively growing along my route. 

I contemplated stopping in a cute little town called Pine for some refreshments, but I saw those dark clouds growing closer and fiercer.  So I hightailed it back onto the road.  I then came upon a town called Strawberry, where there was a little cabin sized saloon.  I pulled in for water, a beer, and some atmosphere.  There was graffiti on the walls, and it had a small iron stove in the corner.  Totally cool.  Well, someone strolled in and said it looked like there was a thunder storm on its heels.  I was like, "nah."  And because I said "Nah," as soon as I got outside, and fired up my bike, the torrential downpour began.  

      I filed into a line of cars winding up the hill.  It was hard to see the cars and the road.  The rain was so hard coming down it was pounding my head, arms, and face up.  I was riding with my arm raised above my forehead to try to stave off some of the brutal attack.  As soon as that hill-climb leveled off, I  pulled over, and reached for the denim jacket I'd strapped to my bike. (remembering that moment where I chose my denim over my leather back at the house).  I also wrapped a huge yellow scarf around my head for some topdown protection.  Cause remember, I'm in Arizona, and helmets are optional, and yeah, today would have totally been a helmet day.  I looked ridiculous....ly awesome! hahaha  
      I turned left onto the 260, Also known as "General Crook Trail." It took me along hilltops, gorgeous green plains, and pastures.  But due to the relentless rains, I had to keep moving.  The water was starting to pool pretty good, in my boots, and I was getting coooooold.  I could see clear skies far into the valley, so at least I had a goal.  I made it to the shelter of a gas station at the bottom of the mountain, in a town called Camp Verde, I was getting all kinds of interesting looks, wringing out my socks, dumping my boots, eating old bread that I'd just found in my pocket.  What's new?  
Craving Pizza, I found a little spot that sounded good. "Crusty's Pizza," which made me think of Krusty the Clown.  How could I resist.  
     Full I was, after an hour of coffee, damn fine pizza, salad, and charging my phone on my bike.  Aaaahhhhh.  And although, I wanted to do a lot more exploring with my afternoon, everywhere around that little dry spot I was in briefly, was thunderstorms and lightning, so I was like, I'm going to just brave it down the 17 towards my house.  I made it right about the turnoff for Bumblebee, when the two-lanes were notoriously stopped with traffic.  I said "this is bullshit!"  This traffic, you gotta understand is full of Phoenix drivers, which are the worst, and Labor Day hangovers.  It takes hours for this section of road to clear out.  The first exit to Black Canyon City wasn't far, by normal travel standards, but in stopped traffic, it's impossible (dramatization).  Also, keep in mind that Arizona is retarded, and has a law against splitting lanes.  I however, chose to use my executive decision making powers to override that part in my conscience that says obey the laws.  And so I split that traffic all the way to that exit, and I rode right on up to a bar that I'd always wanted to stop in.  I chatted up a couple who were on a newer production Indian Motorcycle.  Then I walked in through that front door, and the first thing I hear is "now that's my kinda woman." hahahahaha.  Oh, man, this guy was drunker than a bunker.  Me and the very awesome and sweet bartender, were just rolling our eyes at this guy.  It was fun chatting it up, and killing time, until I decided one beer was fine for that stop.  I then took the side-road down to another spot that I usually stop at, more for food, but still.  I sat outside on the benches, and took my boots off and let my wet socks dry off on the still hot concrete sidewalks.  I could see the highway from my seat, and I stayed there until that traffic was good and gone.  And then all the way home I rode.

The darkness that I was rolling under.







I can't wait to go back on a clear day.  
So many green pastures to roam on those hilltops.




At the Sportsman's Chalet, in Strawberry, AZ.





Lucky find.
Old bread found in my jacket pocket = a good meal.



Heavy rain across the plains.




No joke.