WTF Santa?!!

(creepy brawler/booze santa)

(shit ain't right: mop for a beard/skinny santa)

(this just rules)

more good shit at sketchysantas.tumbler.com

Donny D's Waterwheel Saloon. Columbia, CA (Gold country.)

So if you ever get the opportunity to roll into the foothills just off the 49 highway 3 miles outside of Sonora, CA  you'll wind through rock outcroppings that form the nostalgic gold mining town of Columbia, CA in the foothills of the Sierra Nevada.
There is a cool ass bar called the Waterwheel Saloon.  It really has a neat vibe and cool old feel and setting to it.  All wood interior, and exterior, really give this place the charm and character that a bar and hangout needs.
Ride up, and hang out for food and drinks, and an occasional show, cause they have bands like every weekend.  They have KILLER PIZZA!!!  AND a fine selection of AFFORDABLE BEERS!!! hahaha  

Donny is an old school punk rocker/biker and now bar owner, so he's good peeps.  We've played a few shows together back in our day.  I just felt like writing about the place cause I like it that much.

 Donny and Josh rockin their fine machines.

 Donny

 the Waterwheel

CHEERS!!!

The kinda advice I get from home.

"If you have time to complain, then you have time to do something about it." ~ Mom.

baby jack

my grandpas work trike.

Wild Child Southern Tour

From cold starts to warmer beginnings. Delivering the couch to riding to LA in the bundly cold hours of the evening just to spend some quality time with quality people. A jack of my word. Determined to deliver.

I build custom furniture.  I just finished and delivered it the morning of travel day, so I got on the road later than wanted.  Here's more of my stuff:  WoertzDesigns.com

A late start that day, but all loaded up and pointed toward LA.

I rode to LA with a passion. The 108 out of Sonora down through the 59 to Merced, is a nice easy ride. Takes you through warm effervescing grasses and scenic rolling hills of the wild western yore. You can smell the golden honey on those sun baked plains. It's a heavenly venture to behold. Imagery of galloping cowboys and battling Indians fighting for ground have a tendency to run through my overimaginative mind as I lean through the turns and speed down the open chutes surrounded by grazing cattle and chased by migrating flocks speeding through the stratosphere.

 And here we are 5 hours later at a convenient store in Silverlake, Los Angeles.

Lookin for this good stuff.

I spent a fun filled week in LA with friends that I'd hadn't seen for 5 months since I'd moved north.  So it was great being back in their presence.  Catching up at all the old stomping grounds around weho, hollywood, silverlake, as well exploring new spots in echo park.  I'm so much more of an east sider than the west.  I really love a dive bar that has mariachi all up in the juke box.  So the week after halloween I headed for San Diego, where I was to prepare for the camp out, and hang out with my friends down there.

Too big for chicken. 

Saturday morning Nov. 6th from San Diego to Slab City Riot:

From quaint windy two-lane roads from California's beaches up through her foothills and on to her desert floors, her landscapes are vast and diverse and lovely. With a poncho and a blanket, I slept next to a dwindling fire under the most magnificent star lit galaxies.

At 9am we rode from Adria and Randy's house out of San Diego up the 15 to Poway where we took that east to the 67 which takes you through the foothills to Julien.  We had met some other bikes along the way and so we now had quite the procession.  A large caravan of staggered bikes leaned their ways up, through, and down the curvatiousness of the 67 and 78 highways that led us to the desert through the Anza Borrego valley and off-roader havens of Occotillo Wells.  A few lefts, rights, and stops at some fix-it shops through the following towns, and we were finally on the straight-away for Niland just east of the Salton Sea, where the infamous Slab City resides, and the ever so infamous Slab City Riot was to ensue.

crashed out at Adria and Randy's.

Slab City Riot
Off the grid is right.  From Salvation mountain to witness relocation, this is the ultimate wild time.  From hot choppers, to flaming cars (literally), the all night debauchery that ensues one night a year at the infamous Slab City just outside Niland, California, is exquisite.  People ride from all over just for the free beer, bike shows, and the all night punk/rock/metal that will keep you rockin all the way back to your campsite.  Hell yes, free beer, that's right.  Look out for the cops out there.  They are bored, and need to make money so they roll around messin with unhelmeted bikers, tryin to check wraps.  I came up with a joke, not sure if it's out there already, but I like it "what kinda fruit is a cop?...a razzberry!"  Yeah, you can use that on your friends.  You know you want to.  But anyway, the campout ruled.  We rode in from San Diego and got there early-ish, around 2pm.  We peeped some suitable camp sites, opting for the one that wasn't right next to a slab city tennant with the yapping dogs and the loud ass generator.  The bikers started rolling in like wildfire, streams of bobbed, and chopped two wheelers found makeshift sleeping quarters all around the area between shrubs, and under shrub trees.  The sun went down and the fires and partying started to roar. There were tons of hot bikes there. There was a skate park that is basically a giant old empty pool with ramps and rails thrown on the flats.  We hit it up Sunday morning on our way out of Slab City.  


The following photos of Slab City were taken 
by the amazing Adria Benson.
She is reachable at
adria.photography@yahoo.com

At some point I moved from the ground to the chairs.  Had something to do with conversations about scorpions.  This lasted maybe 30 min.

The ground was much better after all.  Bring it on, Scorpion.

Skating the slab.

crime scene.

salvation mountain makes you feel like you're on drugs.

Sunday from the Slab to Tucson:
Randy, Adria, and I took off from the Slab after a short skate sesh, and some photo shoots.  We rode out racing on the old 111 south to the 8 where Randy and Adria split west for San Diego, and I bid them adieu as I rode east into the wild blue yonder towards Tucson.  The weather was hot, and the road just went on and on.  I made sure to ride just a little faster than the surrounding cars, while making some my bait.  Surprisingly, I wasn't hungover, for as much of a cocktail as I made my body last night.  Maybe pabst and whiskey are good for you after all.  
              I was anxious to stop at the first deserted roadside piece of Americana that I saw.  Luckily a gas stop landed me at a rundown old adobe station.  Gravel drive, two old pumps, weathered window panes, rickety screen door, and an old lady who had been running the station for 50 years.  I filled my tank, got a cola, and chatted up the woman for a few minutes talking about the area, the station, and how she wanted to retire, cause she'd been working her whole life.  I pondered the purchase for a moment and how I'd love to film some movies at the location, before I realized I still had a good long stretch to my destination laying ahead.  With a full tank and a little more energy, I sped into the darkening east.  I ended up passing up a group of guys that I'd seen at the Slab.  I waved to them as I rode past, and they quickly became small specks of headlights on the western horizon in my rearview mirrors.
When I pulled up to Tucson the sun was almost gone.  I found an abandoned gas station on a city corner, where I rested on the sidewalk outside an empty convenient store, and checked my phone and waited to hear from my friend whom I was waiting for directions to her house.  After one return phone call, and 1.5 miles later, I was parked, and sitting in a leather reclining massage chair.  :)

Monday morning from Tucson to Albuquerque: I rode the 10 east out of Tucson through Arizona into New Mexico with a grave viciousness, and met her winds with more ferocity than they could overtake me. The road and sky stretched out before me becoming one on the horizon, and I was surrounded by glassy watery visions as far as my eyes would let the desert deceive me in the high and heat of the day. Zen.
This time I swore I would get a photo of my bike next to a welcome state sign, but as I rode past the sign saying welcome to New Mexico, I wondered how the hell I managed to miss this again. But when you're flying at mach speeds and have further destinations it makes it easy to disappear into the scenery, and tachometer, fixated on the miles as they accumulate at a faster and faster rate.
I'll tell you one thing, that's a neat ride up through NM.  Monday night I made it to Albuquerque, NM around 7pm.  I was cold, cramped, and exhausted.  My host Angela welcomed me with Blue Moons, pizza, and episodes of Always Sunny.  I slept well that night, and while I did a weather storm came in and filled the atmosphere with the Fall chill.

 I couldn't help but stop in a town called Truth or Consequences.

Cheap gas.  well, cheaper...than California.

bon appetit

Tuesday Morning road to Taos:
Tuesday morning was a gloomy one.  I could see the sun was trying its damnedest to fight its way through the seemingly impenetrable blanket of fluffy darkness shielding the earth.  While this battle was occuring, I loaded my things on my bike, bundled up, and hit the road for the freezing 2 hour ride to Taos, NM.  It wasn't so bad on the road, but I had to pull over a couple times to adjust my load and add more layers cause I could see some dumping doom in the mountains ahead as I approached Santa Fe.  Once I hit Santa Fe, my route made a sharp left and took me along the sunny lit path just west along the damning mountain range that earlier had posed a threat, but I was safe in the sun, and the going was easy.  The road took me along the Rio Grande, and it was a beautiful windy two lane road through wild western crags where all the famous bandits I grew up admiring used to hide out.  To make my arrival even more perfect, I was looking for my turn-off called Stakeout drive.
I went through famous horseshoe bend and came up on a rise that gave me an epic view of the Gorge and the entire valley that is Taos, NM.  I pulled over to capture a photo of this exquisiteness of land, and relieve myself at some historical markers.  When I pulled back onto the road, it was long straight roads leading the 4 miles to town.  A truck and some 3 cars in tow, had flashed it's lights at me before I dropped into a revene, I gave the guy a thumbs up and slowed down to the speedlimit, and as I dropped into the revene there was a razzberry parked on the side just waiting to snatch the next speeder.  I had already been going the speedlimit, so I just rolled by the razz and looked left off into the landscape, relaxedly with one hand on my throttle, and my other hand tucked like Napoleon in the breast of my p-coat.  A few minutes later I made a right onto Stakeout drive, and made my way to the safety and warmth of my friend Chandra's house.  The next few days consisted of long hikes, bushwhacking our way to magnificent mountain tops, dodging mountain lion dens, hanging out at spiritual centers, jewelry making, eating good food, sightseeing, relaxing, watching all the movies we could, and just having the time of our lives.

the Gorge of the Rio Grande

my first stop in the Taos basin.

 

this is the view from where I stayed

my buddy Chandra

probably your great grandparents fake eyeball.

Saturday/Sunday: November 13, 14 One long road from Taos to Tucson. So it has now come that I am making my trek back to California, and in the morning I am making a straight long shot over some 9+ hours and some 540 miles all the way from Taos to Tucson.  This will remain to be the longest all day ride I've done to this day.  I'm looking forward to it with what might seem a diagnosable insanity, but it's going to be majestic, and I love a good ride challenge.  There's nothing quite as magnificent as pushing yourself further and harder than you've gone before, because you find out more about yourself, and more about what you're capable of enduring.  You become more human and complete in your pursuits and challenges.  I encourage this sort of behavior.


Until tomorrow, or the next time I can sit down and catch you up with my travels, I bid you goodnight, and I'll see you on the road. 

Be and Do.

 I saw this sign and had to turn around and snap it for my friend who's name is Milagros.

 Here's my ride into the blinding ass sun.  Enroute from Taos to Tucson. 

 Historical marker in Deming, NM

 Here was the map of my route. Taos to Tucson, one day.  Good stuff.  Cold and hard.

 580 miles and just under 11 hours of riding in the freezing cold NM territories, I made my destination to Tucson, AZ from Taos, NM.  Taos was an icebox with the light on. The sun was faking it. It's rides like this that I just beg the cosmos for global warming.  My ride started with me thinking it was warm enough to ride without anything but my jeans, but by the time I reached the 1/4 mile to the end of the road where it meets the highway, my fingers were frozen, and my muscles were freezing, so I reached for my chaps and a made myself a little more comfortable.  I was just banking on getting out of that 10,000 elevation, cause I figured that was most of my cold issues, but really, the rest of the state south wasn't much better.  My bones ached for the warmth that each decline in elevation promised, but with the declining elevation also came the setting of the sun, and I was still about 3 hours from Tucson, by the time the sun was completely gone.  This meant I just made longer and warmer fuel stops.  Sometimes the blowdryer in the bathrooms comes in handy.  Chatting up the patrons is always fun.  This time there was a fella from a near by army base, who liked my bike, and so we talked a bit about the service, and shared war stories so to speak.  I pulled over to take a few more signs of the historical markers along the back roads, and I snapped a neat photo of the sunset.  which looked much more grandiose through my sunglasses, than it did through my phone, but it was still spectacular on that horizon.

I spent some time in LA when I got back so I have some photos for you from my 2 weeks there, spanning also the Thanksgiving week.

Holidays at my sisters house.  (and this is only the stuff that made it out of the liquor cabinet)

<3

my antelope

 A welcome home visit to Jumbo's in Los Angeles.

And here I am modeling the Jeans I just made.

My buddy Matteo modeling the jeans I just made.

A dirty bird, on an old fence, in an older meadow.  Taos, NM

Holiday parties Silverlake style.

 my baby and I reach 30,000 miles together on this trip.

Welcome back to LA gift for me.

Home Sweet Home:  Well, where my parents live, Sonora.

I finally finished my post winter journey.  It was cold rides and good times.  Spreading love, gaining wisdom, and learning more about my one true love, the wide open road.  The familiarity of the ones I've traveled, and the ones I've yet to conquer.  

to be continued...tomorrow.  I'm late for a dinner party.